I heard it in his voice
by BeTheIntegrity
Summary: Ezra is leaving Aria, her feelings. one-shot maybe ?
1. Chapter 1

A/N

I've edited this slightly, the sentencing is still whack but with writing tones of English Lit coursework to put it nicely I can't be arsed :/ so I'm really sorry for that.

THANK you for all the reviews, I really love them.

for anyone wondering the poem is all mine, I adore Poetry.

Thanks again, I Love You Guys :)

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><p>I could hear it in his voice,<p>

I could hear it in his breathing,

I could hear it in his silence.

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><p>The phone lay next to me still untouched from the moment I let it fall. He'd probably hung up, but I didn't think nor care to look.<p>

My body was still in shock and my heart still aching beating heavy in my chest, I couldn't believe what he'd just said to me.

Did I even hear him right ?

Had he really just told me it was over.

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><p>Today, yes Today was the day, the day he left.<p>

I thought about calling, I'd thought about going to the airport, but he'd sounded so sure he didn't want to see me.

4AM

He'd not even be up yet, his flight isn't until 6PM, and knowing my Ezra.

Wait no he's not MY Ezra, he's just plain Ezra Fitz now, like nothing happened at all.

As my thoughts processed, a tear rolled down my cheek.

This is all, I've done for the past three days, cry tear after tear I wondered when it'd stop, when they'd just simply run out.

It's in this moment I decided to write him a letter, I'd leave it before he leaves.

There's a word, I can't stop thinking about leaves leaves leaves.

I pulled out a piece of paper from a diary, sat and thought, and thought.

I had so many, but couldn't get them down, couldn't get them out.

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><p>Ezra, you wrote me a poem back in Rosewood, even know when I think of you, I read it consuming the words, living in the meaning, maybe one day this can do the same for you.<p>

**Rosewood Heart**

**Gone, Gone are the moments.**

**So,**

**I'll test every water looking for another,**

**but he'll never be you.**

**I touched and was burned**

**like a child.**

**I've learned,**

**It's was a night,**

**It's was a moment,**

**It's was a kiss,**

**It's was a car,**

**It is dead silence,**

**A moment in time,**

**We can never get back,**

**Cherish it well,**

**Hold it again,**

**Closer then ever,**

**Breathe me in, breath me out.**

**Even pick me up,**

**And throw me away,**

**Just know I'll,**

**never let you go,**

**And there's**

**Still so much unsaid**

**Still so much unwritten.**

**But my heart still loves you.**

**Aria xoxoxo**

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><p>There it was. The more I look at it the more I think, really is this all I can come up with.<p>

The man I love is leaving me and there's nothing I can do.

I really need to stop torturing myself, and go post this, at least then I know I've done something, I've left him, with a piece of my honest heart, it may not be everything I want but I can have some sort of closure.

Pulling up to Ezra's apartment felt different, it didn't feel like home.

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><p>It was like he'd already left.<p>

I stood at the door just staring at the 3B, I placed the letter on the doormat knocked and left, the knocking and hiding was childish but I wanted to see him I wanted to make sure he'd gotten it.

The door opened, he looked picked up the piece of paper scanned the halls and simply turned and walked back into his apartment, in time for me to whisper

"I'll always love you Ezra"

but even then I still heard the door slam closed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Hey guys part 2 :) again I apologize for any mistakes or crap writing structure, got a lot on at the moment and I'm a bit all over the place, which reflects clearing in my writing eh ? ;)

I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter but here it is.

The end bit with the poems is kind of the bit I hate so I'd love comments on that, one is converted from a song I wrote the other two are just random, so sorry for that too.

Wow I apologize a lot, but I love you guys and am so happy you are reviewing so please continue, might even add another chapter ;)

Thanks again.

Listen to your heart, it guides you to the wisdom your brain cannot.

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><p>I saw it in the words on the page,<p>

I heard it in the words unspoken,

I heard it in the tears I'd never see her cry.

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><p>Taking a deep breath I went to open the door, I really hoped this wasn't Aria if I'm honest I was praying it wasn't, yet there it was a letter with handwriting I'd recognise anywhere. I scanned the halls although I had hoped not to see Aria, I couldn't help feel disappointed when she wasn't standing there, wasn't holding the letter in her hands, or declaring our love with a passionate kiss.<p>

Walking to my desk, I couldn't help think I wanted to see her and not this cold letter lying on my mat. I hovered over reading it, just like I hovered over hearing her voice-mail yet I'd been so glad I did, my hands answered the question neither my heart or brain could agree on.

There it was laid out in front of me, a poem as I read it the words became clear, along with the tear stained paper which was becoming like a visible representation of her heart, it was easy to tell she'd put her whole heart, her whole everything into this. Yet I was unsure what she wanted me to do, I'd made it clear I couldn't stay. How were we supposing it'll work ? Once I turned down the job offer it became clear to everyone why I'd stayed-

WHAT THE FUCK EZRA!

My heart interrupted my own thoughts, why do I care what people thought.

When did I become this person ?

Why has this become everyone else's god damn decision ?

They don't get to tell me how this ends, it isn't their story.

I love Aria, always have always will, and it's about time I stood up and fought for what I believed in.

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><p>There it was, the place I've ended up at.<p>

Yes, the Montgomery household.

SHIT!

It's now or never.

My palms sweating my heart beating so loud I'm surprised the street hasn't woken up.

As I knocked at the door, a little voice reminded me right now I could run, but the louder voice said YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING TOO LONG!

When nobody answered I looked at my watch

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><p>6AM<p>

wow, would anyone even be awake it's Saturday I thought about walking away , with the intention of coming back later, but if I walked away now there's absolutely no grantee I'll be coming back, I'm here now and determined to get a answer. Once more I knocked slightly louder this time.

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><p>There it was, the moment I'd waited for the door had opened to reveal a sleepy Ella.<p>

"I think you should go get Byron I'd like a chat"

I said it firmly and quite cocky, I don't know where this new me had come from but I loved it finally I was fighting for Aria and I never felt better.

As quickly as Ella disappeared she reappeared with Byron.

"So I thought I should tell you both, turns out I'm not leaving I'm am indeed staying right here in Rosewood. I'm not a coward and there is no chance I'm taking the cowards way out, it's not who I am and I can't believe I even let you convince me, I should."

this new tone shocked Byron he was angry but I was ready for the fight.

"where do you get off ?" Byron's was seething and in some strange way I was loving it.

"Excuse me ? Where do I get off, where the Hell do you get off ? I suggest you just accept I'm not leaving I couldn't never be that person."

"It's a shame that Ego had to get in the way" Byron was quick to come back but I was even quicker

"Yeah, but then again who's ego are we talking about exactly ?"

Ella now stepped in.

"please Ezra just leave"

walking out the door hearing the door slam behind me, I let out a long nervous breath although I was confident and giving it my all, my insides were screaming What the HELL are you doing ?.

I rang Aria but never got a response, she'd probably be asleep only that girl could sleep through me standing up for our love, may I add for the very first time.

"Aria, when you get this ring me I love you"

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><p>I was happy, God I was so happy, all of sudden I was a love struck teenager wanting to hug every person I see on the way home. First there was something I needed to do, I'd wrote Aria a poem and I wanted her to see it before I saw her, before her parents blew up in our faces.<p>

I read it once over

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><p><strong>Aria,<strong>

**If I leave you, I leave with nothing but an empty world before I fall to my knees to ask for forgiveness, please realize this isn't easy for me just take my hand again forget the past take it one day at a time, it's hard to understand I'll never give up I've been stupid but I want you to have this.**

**Hold my hand,**

**Take my heart,**

**I'll do it all over again,**

**It's a breeze in the air,**

**It's a smell in the morning,**

**It's a strand of you hair,**

**Finding the slightest thing,**

**brakes me all over again,**

**I can't get over**

**those moments,**

**I'll hold here,**

**forever in my heart**

**my bright star,**

**you hold the key**

**maybe your not ready**

**maybe you don't care**

**maybe you can't forgive me,**

**but hold my hand,**

**take my heart,**

**this time,**

**I won't let you break.**

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><p>The first poem, just didn't feel enough it was down to these moments to let her know how I feel.<p>

So I'd write her a second and maybe a third.

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><p><strong>Happiness doesn't always come,<strong>

**Happiness doesn't always visit,**

**Happiness is you,**

**So stay,**

**Make me happy**

**Make me smile again**

**Make me whole**

**Don't walk away**

**Cause I'll only beg you to stay,**

**Be my happiness,**

**Be my life saver,**

**Be my smile,**

**Be my lover.**

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><p><strong>I prayed to God today,<strong>

**I wonder if he heard me,**

**My body aches,**

**My souls lost,**

**Loosing myself,**

**Tired and making,**

**The same mistakes,**

**I wonder If he heard me,**

**Screaming out your name,**

**I wish he'd hear me,**

**Desperate, broken and afraid,**

**I've lost you,**

**But he already knows that,**

**Just waiting for me to say,**

**I've made a mistake,**

**So I'll open up my heart,**

**I'll bear my soul,**

**Please say he's out there,**

**Hearing me plead,**

**Bringing you back to me,**

**Against all odds,**

**Against all reason.**

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><p>There they are, three poems I want Aria to have,I want Aria to keep. My heart and soul within every depth of them, it's scary leaving them it's like a painter when you put too much into your art your fear how vulnerable and exposed you are, but they're under the doormat for her and she knows they're there.<p> 


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